freedom

you feel

the knot

clogging

your throat

you feel

tears

blinding

your vision

you feel

your skin

reddening

to the burning of flesh

you feel

your heart beat

pounding and ponding and pounding…

how much

can you take

before freedom

is the only thing

worth living for?

stream of consciousness from phoenix

My fears emerge and haunt me like ancient desert spirits.

I fear that we may be powerless,

that I may be powerless,

that I may not be able to provide the defense and protection for my community that I thought I could,

that I may not live fulfilling the grand responsibility that my ancestors left us,

that I may be spitting on sacred burial grounds,

that my disrespect may haunt us for generations to come.

I run and run and run…

in circles without end;

out of breath I suffocate

to a bitter reality that terrorizes my heart and soul.

I try to walk forward but my legs won’t even move,

paralyzed from the waist down.

This feeling is inescapable.

My cheeks are ocean floors where tears of rage of wrath of uncertainty of sorrow of powerlessness flow.

I fear that I do not have the capacity to uplift and move forward in this struggle.

I fear that hate and revenge is what motivates me.

I fear that we will never reach a state of being of love and dignity and resilience and strength.

Today my feet got buried deep within desert earth.

I was reminded that I am a part of this struggle.

I am not above and beyond it;

I wear it, I feel it, I see it, I breathe it, I sleep with it every second of my time here on earth

because behind every mother’s scream,

every family deportation,

every father and sister held in detention,

every murde-genocide across U.S.-Mexico murderlands will be followed by explosions that will detonate,

leading this system that controls and oppresses TO CRUMBLE.

A people cannot remain oppressed forever.

This is not only ancient prophecy, it is scientific TRUTH.

Truth is on our side.

History is on our side.

Justice is on our side.

I feel this

thundering

from every part of my revolutionary and humble heart.

Ometeotl.